"The Quickest Way I Know to Put an Eye Out!"

Thursday, October 24, 2013                                                                          Volume I, Issue 23

A Note From Paul: "That's the Quickest Way I Know to Put an Eye Out!"      Greetings All! My dear Mum used to say, "It's all fun and games until somebody gets an eye poked out!"  She was referring to the mud-clod fights my friends and I had, but as it turns out, the maxim is true for travel too! Sure, odds are you're perfectly safe on a Mediterranean cruise or lying on a beach in the Caribbean. But you don't have to stray far off the beaten path before you run into some pretty dang risky business. Well my motto is "Vacation should be more than just a blanket on a beach." So in honor of my dear departed Mum - and just to prove that I still haven't learned my lesson - herewith: "The World's Five Most Dangerous Tourist Attractions". Or as Mum would have put it, "The quickest way I know to put an eye out!" Don't say I didn't warn you!   Read on...                                                                                              P.S. -- Ok, I probably sound like some sort of zombie that just keeps coming back from the dead, over and over and...  But there's nothing worth more to me than your recommendation!  So please forward this to friends and associates who might be interested.  They'll thank you -- and if you're lucky, they may even spare you when the zombie apocalypse comes!

The World's 5 Most Dangerous Tourist Attractions Care For a Nice Warm Dip? Bungee Jump into a Volcano! We begin our "ain't people crazy" tour with bungee jumping.  To me, just plain ol' bungee jumping is foolish enough.  And there are plenty of exciting jumps that aren't likely to send you home with a singed scalp.  Switzerland's Verzasca Dam jump was featured in the James Bond film "Goldeneye", and Macau's 765-foot SkyJump is the highest jump in the world. But bungee jumping into a volcano?!  That's just nuts.  Ok, technically you're not jumping into a volcano -- at least you'd better pray you're not --   but rather over a volcano.  It's called Villarrica and it's in Pucón, Chile.  For a mere $10,000, you'll take a 5-day trip to Pucón, where you'll be flown by helicopter to hover some 1,100 feet above bubbling pools of white-hot lava.  Then you'll jump. Insane,  right?!  The jump takes you to less than 700 feet above the boiling lava -- high enough to be "safe" but definitely close enough bring vivid memories of those fire and brimstone sermons Pastor Peters used to preach.  No "toasted tourists" to report, there have been no fatalities at Villarrica jump.  Yet. They Must Be Jelly 'Cus Jam Don't Sting Like That The greatest predator in Australia is not a shark or a crocodile, or even those adorable dingos.  It's the box jellyfish.  Box jellyfish are known as the "suckerpunch" of the sea -- you can't see them coming, they're virtually transparent, and worse yet, their sting is rarely detected until the venom is injected.  Nasty surprise, that.   With a sting that can lead to cardiovascular collapse and death in as little as two to five minutes, the box jellyfish has killed more people than all other deadly Australian animals combined. Your best protection against a box jellyfish sting?  Wear pantyhose!  Seriously. Welcome to Death Road -- Please Fasten Your Seatbelts! Here's a test:  When you learn that the highway you're about to take is nicknamed "Death Road", do you A: ask Siri for an alternate route,  B: call your lawyer to ensure your last will and testament is in order, or  C: put the pedal to the metal and burn rubber? If you answered "C", stop reading right now and seek immediate psychiatric help. Winding some 37 miles from La Paz to Coroico, Bolivia's North Yungas Road -- "Death Road" to those in the know -- offers no guardrails, narrows to just 10 feet wide at some points, and borders cliffs of up to 1,830 feet.  Cars have been known to simply fall off the edge, tumbling nearly a half-mile before coming to a stop.  It's no wonder this highway is said to claim as many 300 travelers' lives each year. Visit Chernobyl!  Where Our Motto is "Let Us Glow Together"  Who doesn't love a haunted house, especially at this time of year.  And what is Chernobyl but one great big haunted house? The site of history's worst nuclear disaster in 1986, the abandoned and ghostly Chernobyl nuclear power plant is a warren of abandoned buildings, empty houses, rusting Soviet-era autos and - oddly - some pretty healthy wildlife.   The management of the Chernobyl tours assure us that any remaining radiation levels from the disaster are too small to harm your health, and the Ukrainian government too claims it is safe.    Oh really?!   Then why is it visitors are not allowed to touch any onsite vegetation, and are even forbidden from eating outdoors or setting their tripods on the ground?  Hmmm?  She'll Be Comin' Down the Mountain... I could probably psychically survive a bungee jump.  Swimming with jellyfish, a snap.  But this - THIS!! - is just NUTS! Hike along the face of Mount Huashan in China, thousands of feet above the ground, nothing supporting you but 12 inch wide wooden planks tied into the face of the cliff.  There are no hand rails, and the only thing keeping you attached to the side of the mountain -- if you had the foresight to bring one -- is a safety harness. Eventually even the wooden planks run out, and you're walking on the supports that used to hold the wooden planks. Reports are, there are about 100 deaths on the trail each year.   For those of us who are sane, there's a cable car.  Yes please! _____________________________ So there you go!   Five of the craziest, most dangerous, most thrilling ways you can spend a vacation.  In "You Only Live Twice" (the novel),  James Bond writes an improperly-constructed haiku: You only live twice Once when you are born, and once When you look death in the face You extreme travelers, take note!  Me?  This one life will do just fine, thank you. Until next week!